PLEASE. I BEG OF YOU... KILL ME. OH, AN MERRY CHRISTMAS.

It's bad enough that it looks like this will be the first Christmas that I do not get to spend with my family in years (I get to see them only a few times a year to begin with).

But I can deal, I'll make the best of it.

But THIS is more than I can bear:

The queen of daytime will interview the president of the country during an ABC holiday special that brings together Oprah Winfrey and Barack Obama.

The network has announced “Christmas at the White House: An Oprah Primetime Special.”

“Christmas at the White House” will air Sunday, Dec. 13, at 10 p.m.

Just posted to the North Pole:

Dear Santa,

Please bring me a big 'ol bottle of Jim Beam and a bucket to puke in.

Thank you.